A common misconception is that people who cheat on their partners must also be disloyal in other areas of their lives too, but that isn’t necessarily the case.
Ashley Madison, the world’s largest married dating site[1], conducted a survey to determine how faithful members are and found that members prefer to keep infidelity exclusive to the bedroom.
According to survey results, men are least likely to cheat in a race (7%), while women are least likely to cheat on their therapist (6%), indicating that mental health and wellbeing is important to women on Ashley Madison, while men may value competitiveness and ‘winning fair and square’.
When it comes to politics, men and women on the site are both equally loyal to their political parties, with 86% saying they would rather cheat on their partner (87% of men compared to 86% of women).
They also certainly do not mess around with their caffeine fix! Eighty-five percent of members would rather cheat on their partner than their regular coffee order.
Meanwhile, members are likely to play by the rules when it comes to their finances or applying for a job. Eighty-seven percent of those surveyed would rather cheat on their partner than on their taxes, with men slightly more likely to cheat on their taxes (13% of men vs 8% of women).
Probably unsurprisingly, a whopping 90% profess loyalty to their favorite football team instead of their partner.
Lucy Beresford, psychotherapist and relationship expert, commented: “In trying to understand why people have an affair, the simplistic assumption has often been that such people behave in similar ways in all areas of their life – whether that is around taking risks, fidelity, compartmentalising, or not forming long lasting attachments.
But what is clear is that the reasons why someone has an affair are more nuanced. It is not to do with behaving in one way in all areas of one’s life. Someone having an affair can still feel immensely loyal to their political preference, faithful to their hairdresser, even have a life-long commitment to their football team. So perhaps controversially, what this suggests is that an affair is much more a commentary on the primary relationship than on the personality and their capacity for fidelity of the person having an affair.”
Another 90% of all members surveyed said they would rather cheat on their partner than on a job application or a test.
And it seems appearances are important too – 82%of all members surveyed would prefer to cheat on their partner rather than their hairstylist/barber.
Perhaps not surprisingly, women are a little less inclined to let go of their favorite hairstylist, with 87% claiming they’re more likely to cheat on their partner vs 82% of men.
“Infidelity can be incredibly nuanced and occurs for a number of different reasons,” says Christoph Kraemer, Managing Director Europe at Ashley Madison. “When someone has an affair, we are told that the person must be disloyal in all areas of their life. Our members prove this to be a myth, opening the door for a deeper conversation on what lies in the heart of a so-called cheater.”